


Bury the horse in the ground

by quilledcorsair



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, ouat speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 16:27:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5097383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quilledcorsair/pseuds/quilledcorsair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Swan and her ability to comfort Jones men is astounding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bury the horse in the ground

“Son, if you would just-”

“Stop, just  _stop_ ,” Killian snapped, his glare intensifying as he clenched his jaw. “You don’t get to call me that, not after abandoning us like that,” he growled. “ _We were your family_ ,” he emphasized, his eyes hardening as he swallowed the tightness in his throat.

The older man reached for Killian, but he dodged him, his gaze shifting away from his father. “Stay away from my family,” he finished, his voice barely above a whisper as he turned his back to the man and walked up the gangplank to his ship.

The older man was frozen in place, his mouth gaped open in heartbreaking disbelief, his hand still outstretched. He gulped past the lump in his throat, tears stinging his eyes as he lowered his arm. He stumbled over to the bench nearby, his back leaned wearily against it as he fumbled in his pocket for his flask, bringing it to his lips with a shaky hand.

“He’ll come around, you know,” a soft voice broke through his thoughts, startling him. He turned his head, spying his son’s lady love walking up to him, burrowing in her coat to ward off the chill. “Killian,” she clarified, even though there was no need.

He eyed her warily, head tilted back as he watched her approach the bench, her hands stuffed in her coat, shivering even in her layers. “It’s freezing out here. You should go back to Granny’s,” she suggested, taking a seat next to him.

Jones snorted out a dry laugh, taking another sip from his flask, the rum warming him slightly. “The old hag’s inn? She threw me out the moment she found out who I was,” he shook his head.

Emma sighed, shooting him a sideways glance as she twisted the ring on her finger, over and over, trying to come up with something to say. Finally, it was he who broke the silence. “The ring- that was my Lizzie’s,” he noted, nodding at her hand and briefly meeting her eyes, before they shifted back to staring at the horizon.

“Yeah, Killian told me that-”

“She would have loved you,” he cut her off, a reminiscent smile on his face, as he toyed with the cap of his flask. “She was one hell of a woman, my Lizzie. Smart lass,” he huffed a laugh to himself. Emma smiled politely, her eyebrows raising in interest as she waited for him to continue. And sure enough, he did. “She was stubborn, but kind. She loved truly and deeply... She was my whole world,” his voice trailed off into a longing sigh.

Emma’s expression softened at that. “He misses her too. He doesn’t like to talk about it much- at all actually,” she shook her head with a dry laugh. “But he does.”

“Aye, I know. He was her little Killy, always running underfoot. Mama’s helper, he called himself.” A tense silence lapsed between them, and when it was clear that he wouldn’t say anything more, she took it upon herself to.

“Why’d you leave?” Emma asked bluntly, knowing small talk will get them nowhere. Jones let out a chuckle, turning to her with an incredulous shake of his head. 

“Not one for subtly, are you lass?”

She narrowed her eyes at him slightly, “Look, I don’t  _have_ to help you. And if I’m being honest, the only reason I’m even here is for the man I love. I don’t want him to get hurt, not again,” she told him, swallowing thickly.

He looked away from her then, whether from guilt or hurt, she couldn’t say. After a long moment, he sighed, finding courage in his flask, “When the love of your life dies,” he began with a shuddering breath. “Nothing will ever be the same. I didn’t think I could ever take care of the lads, not the way Lizzie did. But I tried- tried to keep a roof over their heads and food in their belly. I did what I had to, for my lads, you have to understand that lass.” He turned to her with imploring eyes, brown, warm and reassuring. “When I left, I had all intentions to return. But that life, that isn’t one for children. Not one for  _my_ children. With their father framed a fugitive... I had no choice. I-”

“You wanted to give them their best chance,” she finished for him, her voice soft and sounding far off, a contemplative frown marring her soft features. “I know that feeling,” she shook her head with a sardonic smile, her gaze drifting to the ocean. “I also know how hard it was for Killian, loosing you. And then his brother. He’s had a rough life.” she added. She took a deep breath, already regretting her decision, “I’ll talk to him- I’ll get him to hear you out,” she clarified, smiling thinly at the man sitting next to her.

He looked dumbfounded for a moment, gaping at her like a fish, before his expression grew suspicious, his lips pursed as he regarded her. “Why do you want to help me?”

“Whether you son accepts it or not, you  _are_  family,” she huffed out, standing up and dusting off. “And you don’t give up on family,” she looked back at him with a gentler smile.

Jones stared up at her with unbridled gratitude, his eyes suspiciously shiny and he clenched his jaw. “Thank you, Miss Swan,” he choked out, his voice trembling slightly.

“Emma,” she supplied. “Have a good night, Mr. Jones,” she waved, as she walked away.

-/-

Emma softly closed the cabin door behind her, her eyes taking in the barely lit room, and her fiancé sitting at the table and staring at a glass of rum, his expression stormy. She regards him silently for a moment, taking in his white knuckled grip on the tumbler and his clenched jaw, feeling the anger and hurt radiating off of him in waves. Unable to stand it any longer, she dropped her coat next to his on a chair, going to stand next to him with her hands on her hips.

“You’re brooding,” she accused, her eyes narrowed.

He huffed out a laugh, downing the last of his drink. “I am not brooding, Swan,” he argued. “I am simply...contemplating.”

“Uh-huh,” she challenged, her brows raised in mocking. She pushed his arm away, unceremoniously perched herself on his lap, drawing a slight groan from him before he drew her close, nuzzling his face in her hair. Her expression softened, as she leisurely ran her hand through his hair, both of them enjoying a few moments of silence. “You were brooding,” she murmured after a while, twisting some of the hair at his nape.

He muffled his snort on her shoulder, drawing back and pushing her messy curls away from her face. “Fine, I concede. I was  _brooding_ ,” he rolled his eyes. “Must we talk about it now, when we are enjoying some much needed quiet time?” he half-whined. “Can we please, just enjoy our time together? For a while, at the least.”

She frowned, the little crease forming between her brows- the one he adored on her, as she focused her gaze at some point beyond his shoulder. “I just don’t want you to hide your feelings from me, Killian. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me anything.” She stopped him before he could interrupt her, her frown still in place. “I thought after everything that happened, that we would stop doing this. That we would share our burdens. How can you expect me to share my burdens with you, and then when it’s  your turn, you don’t let me help you with yours. Now, I know it’s not because you don’t trust me, so  _what is it_?” she demanded, her eyes finally meeting his and her hands framing his face, thumbing at his cheeks. 

He sighed, pressing a light kiss to her palm before he removed her hands from his cheeks. “Swan, I-” he hesitated, trying to put what he feels into words. “I don’t know...” he murmured, his gaze fixed on their joined hands.

“What don’t you know?” she coaxed his head up, her voice soft.

He swallowed thickly, looking away from her again. “I don’t know how I feel. Emma. About my- my  _father_ ,” he gritted out, “returning. I  _am_  hurt, I still feel betrayed that he left us. But, I am also afraid,” he confessed, his words not more than a whisper, as if he was ashamed. “I’m afraid that if I hear him out, he will give me some explanation that will make it all alright- why he abandoned us, why Liam and I had to fend for ourselves after  _just_  having lost mother, why we had struggle so much... I’m just afraid that everything we had to go through-  _I_  had to go through- it will all be expected to be erased because he had a reason for leaving us. The truth is, I don’t want to come to terms with the reasons, because I don’t  _want_ to forgive him. I don’t want to tell myself that I should forgive because he had noble reasons- and I don’t doubt for a second that they were. My father,” he huffed, entwining their hands again. “he was many things, most of them not  _appealing_  but he was a good father. Well, until he left us, of course.”

Emma was astounded by the depth of this man’s heart- will always be amazed by him, every day of her life. She blinked back her tears, her chin slightly wobbling as she felt a pang in her heart for her man. She tugged on his hand, wordlessly urging him to look at her, waiting patiently until he did. Her other hand pushed the wayward strands away from his face, staring at his bright forget-me-not eyes, seeing the insecurity he tried to hide from her. “Killian Jones,” she began on a shaky breath. She slid her hand down until it rested against his heart, feeling the steady beat against her palm. “You have the biggest heart out of all the people I’ve ever known,” she tells him, surprising him so much he let out a gasp. “I love you and your ability to love so much and so deeply, once you _let_ yourself. And just the fact that you know you can forgive your father, the fact that you  _still_ believe him to be a good father, no matter how much he hurt you... it amazes me  _every day_ , this heart of yours,” she laughed through her tears, quickly brushing them off. “I can’t tell you what to do- that is entirely your decision, and whatever you decide, I’ll support you. But there’s a man out  there who  _loves_  his son and who just wants a chance at explaining himself,” she whispered, watching as his jaw clenched. “Babe, I know how hurt and angry you are. You have every right to be. But- but you know what I saw when I came across him today? I saw  _you_ ,” she can feel his grip tighten on her hand, his eyes flashing with anger but she pushed through, squeezing his hand back. “I saw the man you used to be, Killian. Alone and your flask for company, avoided and avoiding everyone. You told me you had no one for a very long time- well, he doesn’t either. He’s your  _father_ and he’s all alone, out there in the cold because he is hurting and he is guilty- and you are all he has left.”

She takes a deep, shaky breath, “You are the love of my life, Jones. We are going to get married an-and start a family, maybe. I don’t want for you to regret not getting to know your dad because you were afraid. I don’t want you to miss out on anything anymore. You deserve everything, Killian. And I’m just afraid that if you don’t let yourself forgive him- then that will hurt you more. I can’t  _stand_  to see you hurt.” She was crying by now, tears a torrent down her cheeks as she pulled him close, her arms wrapped around his neck as he remained frozen under her, left inert and inarticulate by her words.

Finally he let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, his arms coming to wrap around her as tears burned the back of his throat.

-/-

It took him two weeks before he could bring himself to visit his father at Granny’s (Emma having sweet-talked Granny into letting him stay at the Inn, for double the price of course. He hadn’t tried to hide his smirk when he saw the woman’s unrelenting stance against his Swan, who simply shook her head and  ~~unhappily~~  agreed).

It took him two tries before he knocked on the worn wooden door, and it took his father only two seconds to answer, the man’s brown eyes immediately brightening up at the sight of him, grin wide and welcoming as he opened his door further.

“So- Killian,” he caught himself, swallowing thickly.

“Father,” he acknowledged him, his hand reaching behind his ear nervously. “I- May I come in?” he asked, his heart racing as he spoke the next words. “I think we should- talk.” (He could almost hear his Swan cheer, his smile growing as he imagined the look of elation on her face).

He pushed down his fear and his doubts away from his mind, taking in his father as the man tried to control his delight and fear, and steeling himself for whatever is going to happen next. “I think I’m ready now,” he breathed out.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been too long since I wrote something, but reviews?


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